When change isn't enough: Finding Support When the Pain Feels Overwhelming

In the aftermath of tragedies like the recent mass shooting by Robin Westman, many people are left feeling shaken, hopeless, or uncertain about their place in the world. For those already wrestling with questions of identity and belonging, the weight of these events can intensify feelings of despair or even suicidal thoughts.

For context you can watch this video for what is currently known about what happened.

Understanding the struggle: It is human to want to make sense of who we are, where we belong, and how to live authentically. When trauma and violence strike, these questions can become even heavier. Suicidal thoughts often come from a place of deep exhaustion and pain — not because you are weak or “broken,” but because you have been carrying more than anyone should have to carry alone.

It's important to understanding that being trans does not cause someone to be suicidal. Suicidal ideation is caused due to complex factors. It is the result of hopelessness and believing that no options exist to resolve current issues. Gender affirming care alone is inadequate for treating suicidal ideation.

This is why IncreMental Health Tips uses a comprehensive approach to assessment. It's important to assess all underlying mental health conditions that can be contributing towards suicidal ideation. Depression, anxiety, trauma, poor social skills, and other diagnosed (or undiagnosed) mental health conditions can all contribute to causing suicidal ideation.

A traditional therapeutic perspective:Therapy provides a space to explore what underlies these painful thoughts: grief, loneliness, shame, fear, or confusion about identity and self-worth. The process is not about forcing you into any particular box or label, but about walking with you as you process your story, understand your struggles, and discover healthier ways of coping. With support, people often find new clarity, resilience, and hope even when it feels out of reach.

An important first step for treating suicidal ideation is developing a safety plan. Being able to identify triggers, utilize coping strategies, contacting support people, and focusing on reasons to live as provide short-term support to give clients time to utilize supports through therapy or medication in order to create lasting change and resolve suicidal ideation.

Encouragement and small steps:If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts right now, some immediate steps may help lighten the weight of the moment:

• Talk with someone you trust about how you’re feeling — you don’t have to face this alone.

• Write down what you’re experiencing; putting feelings into words can bring relief.

• Ground yourself in the present moment with a small, simple action — deep breathing, walking, or listening to music.

• Reach out to a professional or crisis line to get support.

  
  

Crisis resources: If you are having thoughts of self harm or harming others please reach out for support.

• In Canada: call or text 988 (Suicide Crisis Helpline).

• In the U.S.: dial 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).

• If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number. Emergency rooms are often equipped with mental health staff to provide support to those in crisis.

  
  

Even when life feels unbearable, there is a path forward. Therapy offers a safe place to untangle the pain and begin moving toward healing. You don’t need to have all the answers right now — only the courage to take the next step. If you would like to begin that journey in a supportive, non-judgmental space, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can work through the pain and begin to rediscover hope.